Parents must attend a parenting training course to bring their children up.  Do you agree or disagree? 

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

Parenting is a major responsibility that is vital for the development of the upcoming generations. New parents are sometimes need training to rear their offspring in a balanced manner. It is generally believed that parenting courses can be of help to enhance the abilities of new parents to raise their children in a balanced way (this is the same as the previous sentence). balanced way = properly). I totally agree with this opinion, since bringing up kids is a tough mission and parenting courses can help to get knowledge about the modern ways of raising children, especially with being involved in professional life. You never mentioned parents.) so much involved in professional life. (Redundancy in the introduction.). (We need to eliminate unnecessary words that do not convey any meaning.)

It goes without saying that bringing up children is a hard responsibility (as clearly mentioned in the introduction and stated in the body paragraph). New parents always face problems making wise decisions in rearing their offspring. You need to explain wise decisions to make the answer specific. (New parents always face problems regarding the appropriate vaccination, nutritious food, and healthy social atmosphere for their child.). Parenting Educational courses train parents to follow rules and regulations, especially in difficult situations. What are the rules and regulations? What difficult situations? You’re being unclear and vague. Please be specific. (Leave no scope for interpretation.). For instance, how to punish a child for wrong behavior without violent action or abuse. (Better write: Parents need to learn the subtle art of changing the negative behaviours of a child without being violent or abusive.)

Moreover, these courses are of great value for parents who are so engaged in their professions to fulfill the needs of their kids but lack the time to recognize their issues You’ve tried to club two ideas—professions and lack of time for kids—without a proper connecting device. Consequently, the sentence structure is weird. Note the three connecting devices. Moreover, since parents are extremely busy in their professions and lack time to spend with their children, these courses can offer immense value.). Parenting training courses can illustrate warning signs to detect problems in youngsters and how to tackle these issues. (Can you specifically write about warning signs and problems of youngsters?)

Another important point to be mentioned is that these courses provide knowledge about the psychological factors affecting children at different life stages. Trained behavior is needed to deal with the immature thinking of a teenager, for instance. Please explain this further. (IELTS wants properly developed ideas.)

In conclusion, parenting courses play a vital role in raising offspring by giving practical instructions for parents who have little time to understand the psychological factors that render their children vulnerable to serious risks.

NOTE: This essay needs proper development of ideas with specific inputs.

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