Marginal Comments for the essay: Using the comments and highlighting tools, you will make marginal comments, prioritizing the engagement with sources. Use the checklist at the bottom of the page to evaluate source use and synthesis. Write up a 350 words (275 is fine) comments using instructions below. Before you get started, read through the draft once and then ask yourself: Does this draft examine the concrete effects (can I point to actual people, places and things?) of a specific problem that this writer locates within an analysis of a specific past policy, series of policies and/or key event(s)? If the answer is no, then write, "this essay does not follow basic instructions for this project" and consider your work done. If the answer is ‘yes,’ If the answer is ‘yes,’ your first paragraph should explain what are the composition’s two strongest points and where are its two weakest points. Point out in as clear and focused terms as possible exactly where the draft needs attention in its articulation of the problem/historical argument, how it needs to be improved and why. Start with the big problems in your first paragraph and then deal with the synthesis of researched material in your second paragraph. And remember that there is no point in fixing smaller issues if the whole premise of the composition stands on shaky ground! USE EVIDENCE FROM THE DRAFT—QUOTE IT!—TO MAKE YOUR POINT CLEAR. CHECK ALL OF THEM Argumentation: Framing: Does the composition open with a compelling anecdote or description of a current problem, one that points to or suggests historical underpinnings? Can this anecdote or description be improved? How? Historical: Is there a convincing and clear synthesis of various scholarly perspectives that examine the relevant and underlying cause or causes of the problem? Can the source synthesis be improved upon? How? Warrants: Is there a whole section of this paper devoted to explaining clearly the current iteration of the problem? Does it show who, specifically suffers as a result of the existence of this problem, how they suffer, who or what caused the suffering and who benefits from it? Explain. Can you think of anything else that might improve this feature of the composition? Scholarly Debate/Opposition: Is there effective, believable and thoughtful engagement with resistance to the central claims of and/or evidence used in the composition? How might you improve this feature of the composition? Using Sources: Does the author give clear context/summary/introduction of scholarly source material? Is the quoted material relevant and insightful? Is the material that makes a claim or draws a conclusion properly contextualized? Does the author effectively evaluate the source material by showing his or her own position on the topic/problem within that ‘conversation’? How might you improve these features of the composition? Style/Organization 6. Does the composition follow a line of development from beginning to end? How might you organize the paper differently? 7. How does this essay conclude? Does it end with new insights, point to advocacy, or is it merely a repetition of what you have already encountered? How can you improve the conclusion to the paper? Multi-modality: 9. Does the author effectively make use of epigraphs, footnotes, pull quotes, images, photography, original documents, art, maps, graphs, and/or video? Are these carefully selected, arranged and various? Is the image too melodramatic or ‘obvious’ in its message? Too vague? Does the image advance the power or force of the argument? How? 10. Does each multi-modal element have a caption in MLA formatting explaining what it is? Mechanics: 11. Does the paper contain AT LEAST 4-6 scholarly sources (not counting popular sources), properly documented in MLA formatting both in-text and in a works cited page? (please consult OWL for MLA formatting instructions…or ask!) 12. How is the grammar? You may not know how to fix it, but you can note when a sentence seems off. You might also write, “the grammar seems generally off to me.” If you do notice as much, you are probably right.