Consent Discussion

What is consent?

Consent refers to the concept in which an individual gives permission for someone else to engage in a sexual activity with them. The parties involved in this activity must not feel pressured and they should be able to stop it at any point if they do not feel comfortable or in instances where they do not want to go ahead with it (Cowling, 112). Thus, if a person withdraws their consent at any point, it should be taken seriously since any sexual act that goes against this can be deemed as rape or harassment.  Without the consent, the sexual behavior or action elicits physical, psychological, and emotional torture coupled with fear and intimidation.

The consent to engage in sexual activity at any point does not guarantee that the permission will hold for any subsequent actions. One cannot presume that the person gave them a go ahead at one point and this means that they can engage in similar acts in the future without seeking their permission (Williams, 24). Every individual willing to engage in these acts has a right to sovereignty. Thus, it is the responsibility of the individual initiating the act to get permission before they start. Even so, both parties must be in agreement and this means that clarification must always be sought especially in situations where both parties are not sure on whether it is okay to start or to continue with the activity.

What messages do media send about sexual consent and sexual violence?

The media has to a great extent sent misleading messages regarding sexual consent and sexual violence. Most of the time, the men and women are objectified especially in advertisements that promote alcohol use by associating them with success and sexual power. The media portrays the victims as people who brought these problems on themselves. Blaming the victim makes it possible for other people involved to separate themselves from the sexual encounter. Thus, they seem to confirm that such things cannot happen to them.

The media also makes the issue of sexual consent and sexual violence to appear like an unpleasant occurrence that only happens to certain individuals. When people watch such stories, they tend to formulate reasons in their heads that make them feel like they are better than the victims (Cowling, 126). People feel like they are not like the people who fall into such traps easily. Rather, they believe that they would have made better choices if faced with situations where they might end up being sexually harassed. Such reactions on the issues of sexual consent and sexual violence are not helpful to the victims and to other people who rely on the media as a vital source of information.

The messages sent by the media ends up normalizing sexual assault and violence by shifting the blame to one side of the coin. If people know that the society will blame them for playing a role in bringing harm to them, then they will not feel comfortable stepping out and sharing their story (Williams, 25). Somehow, they will come to a conclusion that their actions might have played a key role in bring the misfortune upon themselves. It then becomes normal to find members of the society reinforcing the thoughts of the abusers in blaming the victims of these incidents. Additionally, it now becomes normal to find these people leaving the victims with the full responsibility of fixing the situation. Such blame games allow the society to normalize sexual assault and violence because they will always find a way to avoid being accountable for their actions.

The messages from the media also create an environment where sexual violence and assault are pervasive and they are accepted as things that cannot be avoided. In this environment, the individuals and members of the society do not have to take an active role in promoting sexual violence (Cowling, 84). Rather, they still normalize the act through a series of false beliefs that have not been examined and proven. The media does this through song lyrics with harmful and confusing messages, images that portray humans as sexual beings, making people to appear like sexual objects in advertisements, use of language that underestimates sexual assault, and blaming the victim.

The media also plays a role in normalizing sexual violence by teaching the masses how not to get raped instead of targeting the issue which is why people should refrain from engaging in acts of sexual assault and sexual violence (Williams, 27). When this is done, the victims also underestimate what happened to them and they may not consider it as rape. They may think that they are going overboard by reporting the violence, seeking help, and even finding someone to talk to. In instances where the victims are convinced that they are right, they still hold back because they feel like they are to blame and this means that even when they choose to go ahead and report the incident, no one will believe them. All these feelings stem from the fact that the media normalizes these incidents all thanks to the way in which these events are reported and the messages shared across social platforms.

What things are women taught to do before they go outside to protect themselves from being raped? Create a list
First of all, women are always taught to always be cautious about their kind of hairstyle since it may render them as potential victims. Hairstyles like the braid and the pony are not ideal for events where partying and binge drinking is taking place since it makes it easy for them to be easily grabbed by the hair.
b) The need to be cautious of their dressing styles and the kind of messages they send out. Clothes that are too revealing makes men to look at them in a sexual manner and this may make them vulnerable.
c) The importance of appreciating the need to communicate their desires effectively when need arises. Through this, they can create formidable relationships that protect their interest.
d) The need to avoid being alone in isolated areas. Thus, if they come into contact with people who try to lead them to these areas, then they get away from them quickly.
e) The need to stay clear of alcohol and other drugs since it is easy for people to take advantage of them when under the influence. If they must engage, then they must set their consumption limits.
e) To always attend group events in the company of friends they can trust since they will be safer if they have someone looking out for them.
f) To always be aware and alert of their environment. For instance, if they go to crowded spaces, they should know where the exits are and how to explain themselves in instances where they feel lost.
g) To always trust their gut instincts. This will enable them to react immediately if they find themselves in places that make them uneasy.
What are men taught to do before they go outside to protect themselves from being raped?
To always watch their drink or avoid drinking altogether. It is easy for someone to slip a date rape drug in unattended drinks without leaving any evidence. Thus, one should finish up their drink if they have to step out for a moment.
b) To always try and find out any relevant information about the areas they intend to visit. This will enable the men to know the available resources that could come in handy whenever they find themselves in areas that potentially leave them vulnerable to assault. The concept also applies even for those who have to travel to foreign countries since they would rely on the resources of these countries like the laws and emergency centers to report such incidences.
c) To always trust their instinct. The men must always speak up if they find themselves in uncomfortable situations even when they are on a date with someone they have learnt to trust to some extent.
d) The men must always party responsibly. At this time and age, colleges and campuses are filled with so many recreational drugs and one may end up drugging themselves if they are careless which would leave them vulnerable since they will not be able to consent to sex. In such cases, the perpetrator takes full control.
e) The need to protect themselves and their personal stuff. Sometimes, it is important for one to be equipped either with the defense skills or tools that could help them ward off perpetrators. For instance, paper spray could come in handy in leaving the perpetrator powerless. Self-defense skills could also help them to fight and flee when in such situations.
Create a list to give to men of how to not rape or to not perpetuate a rape culture.

For the rape culture to wear off and eventually die, there are a number of things that men can do to not perpetrate the rape culture. These include:

Avoiding the use of language that degrades or makes women to appear as sexual objects.
Always be on the lookout for people who cannot defend themselves in situations where someone else trivializes rape or makes offensive jokes against them.
Being supportive of those who come out to report that they have been raped or sexually assaulted.
Taking time to think carefully on the messages they send to the media regarding violence, relationships, and sexual assault issues.
Always trying to respect every individual’s physical space in both casual and formal situations.
Always trying to address the issue instead of shifting the blame to the victims and other vices like alcohol and drugs. Additionally, it is also important for the men to ensure that perpetrators are held accountable for their actions.
Trying to always communicate their sexual intentions with their partners. It is not right to always assume that the person is in agreement.
Being active bystanders that do not let stereotypes shape how they act or perceive things to be.

Preparing this list has been a great eye-opener for me since it has brought to light some of the notions that advance the rape culture. Men are out rightly involved in every way in creating environments where sexual violence is normalized. Most of the time, their actions are excused in popular culture and the media. All issues associated with inappropriate language, objectifying the bodies of women, and glamorizing issues of assault are often perpetrated by the men and this leads to the creation of a society where the rights and safety of women are disregarded.

From this list, one thing that is clear is the fact that men play a very crucial role in advancing or impeding efforts to create an environment that is safe for both men and women. The men have always been vocal and they have the right channels for airing issues in societies where people tend to listen to them more compared to their female counterparts. Most times, the men are also the perpetrators of these acts of violence since they often have the dominant force in a relationship coupled with the physical strength to subdue their victims. The men have also been known to objectify and demean women by always referring to them as the weaker sex. Most times, they even find reasons to blame the women in the event of an assault and absolve themselves of the blame even when it is clearly evident that they are on the wrong. Thus, it is proper for them to step up and take the lead role in stopping the rape culture.

What are some of the barriers men face when trying to challenge sexist behavior?
Most times, it is not easy for fellow men to accept that they too can be victims of rape or sexual assault. The concept thus makes it hard for men to come forward and speak out of the fear of being associated with the weaker sex which in this case are the women.
b) Another challenge comes from the fact that the sexual assault may be committed by someone well-known to the victim. Thus, people may opt to live in denial where they even seek reasons to justify their abuser’s acts. Doing this makes it hard for the ral issues to be addressed.
c) The motivation behind sexual assault is often power, hostility, and control. In every society, it is not easy to find all members having all the three concepts. Thus, the less vulnerable in terms of age and sex will always be the victims.
d) Sexual offenders often come from all types of backgrounds including race, age, gender, education, and occupation. These people always appear descent and it makes it hard for people to step forward and report when they are assaulted by them since they may not appear credible. Thus, it is important for the challenge to be addressed to ensure that everyone is comfortable enough to speak out without the fear that thy will be judged harshly.
e) Sometimes, the victims of rape are married couples or people who have dated for a long time. Most people find it hard to believe that sexual assault can actually happen within the confines of such unions. Thus, people tend to shy away instead of speaking out and letting their issues be addressed.

How can coaches, teachers, athletes, and entertainers use their influence to challenge men’s violence against women?

Coaches, teachers, athletes, and entertainers can use their influence to challenge men’s violence against women in a number of ways. First of all, the coaches can help create and reinforce a culture of respect by insisting on the dominance and superiority of women over men in certain sports (Cowling, 182). These two groups can be put on friendly events where they get to interact and view each other beyond their physical strength. On the other hand, teachers are influential in molding students and shaping various aspects of their character which influence how they perceive women. For instance, they can come up with an appreciation strategy in which both male and female students are challenged to treat each other with respect.

Athletes have a wide following and this means that they have the platform to reach out t masses. These people can come up with advertisements or group initiatives geared towards embracing the important role of women in the society. Through this coupled with their influence, it is highly likely that they will change how society responds to issues of violence against women. On the other hand, entertainers can use the media to send positive messages that embrace womanhood.  For instance, they can create movies in which women take lead role in challenging the male stereotypes set up by society. Through this people will get to learn and appreciate the important role that each member of the society plays.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Work Cited

Cowling, Mark. Making sense of sexual consent. Routledge, 2017.

Williams, Christine L. “Sexual harassment in organizations: A critique of current research and policy.” Sexual Harassment and Sexual Consent. Routledge, 2018. 20-43.