We can help with IELTS Essay Correction: Tendency of Humans to Copy One Another.

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion clothes and foods. To what extent do you agree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

The preference towards food and raiment is varied varies (Prefer Active Voice) from person to person. It is often said that many people replicate others’ trends to feel more appealing or contented (the word contend refers to competing.) and it can be noticed in latest fashion. I agree to this view because of changes in current living and proliferation of companies, however, I also believe that there are some individuals who do not copy of anyone’s interests in their lives. (Please use the term partially agree to express your views more clearly: I partially agree to this statement since some individuals follow fashion and latest trends in food while others stay independent of the these influences.)

It is veritable (veritable is an adjective and it must be placed next to a noun. For instance: a veritable business, a veritable institution.) that many people simply follow the newest trends including those of food and clothes (food and clothes are not trends), which is ubiquitous in many countries in the world. It is clearly evident in young generation, in particular, since they are (generation is a singular noun. Use a singular pronoun.) it is captivated by the latest fads, forgetting and forgets the traditional way of living (NOTE below). In addition, the ever-increasing number of textile industries and food corporates, such as Mc Donalds, reveals (Note: the subject is increasing number of …., not corporates) that people are obsessed with modern way of living by copying one another. Many youths youngsters in India, for example, choose burgers and pizzas and to wear (Parallelism: choose and wear. Don’t use to.) foreign branded jeans and t-shirts over traditional food and clothing. This quest for trends clearly illustrates they are imitating others. (The ideas are well expressed and structured. They are mentioned and explained well.)

Some people, in stark contrast, do not pursue other individuals‘ fashion (Can’t pursue an individual, can pursue a trend.), believing and believe in their own preference and identity (NOTE below). For instance, some elder people in India, who live in puritanical environment, still hold their cultural values and norms. Those people do not emulate others’ habit of eating or clothing, instead, they select something which provide them comfort and psychological satisfaction, irrespective of its oddness or public opinions. (The idea is well mentioned and explained. Good Job!)

In conclusion, I agree that flocks of people pursue fashion follow (copy) each other and it can be noticed from their lifestyles and the blooming booming industries. That is being said, some are still following traditional ways of thinking and those they are unlikely to copy new changes (latest fashions).

NOTE: Please note the two sentences marked with “NOTE below”. In each of these sentences you have TWO ideas. Please express each idea SEPARATELY using “and”. In the first sentence, you have written 2 ideas – “captivated by latest trends” and “forget the traditional way of living”. Please keep them separate. Similarly in the second sentence. Discuss with me, if needed.

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