IELTS Essay Correction: Price as the Most Important Factor When Buying a Product.

Some people consider price as the most important thing to consider when buying a product ( such as a cell phone) or a service ( e.g medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

40 minutes, 250 words at least.

Answer:

It is often considered that one should keep the element of price into consideration (this is not the question. Please read it carefully again.) while purchasing goods or services (Like goods, you can also purchase services.) taking any medical service. I strongly disagree with this statement because in a the long run, quality of a product or service would be is the primary decisive factor. Moreover, cheaper health services can sometimes put question even on the life of the patient. (Do not restrict your answer to medical treatment. It is just a type of service. Better use it as an example in the body paragraphs.)

It is a universal truth that an expensive product with better quality has a longer life span than its inexpensive counterpart. An individual who compromises with the quality by paying less can be challenged financially by can end up paying more during (lexical resource.) the product‘s life due to its repeated repairment repair (lexical resource.) charges. Furthermore, products with desired features and quality are often expensive ones because companies can not produce quality goods in a tight budget. Although Apple iPhone, for instance, is ten times expensive than various locally made mobiles in America, its sale outraces others’ due to its long-term reliability and warranty. (While your view in the introduction is that price is NOT the most important criterion, you’ve written this paragraph justifying that price is the most important factor by inseparably tying it with quality.)

Moreover, cheaper medical services often compromise an individual‘s health to a very dangerous level (So price is indeed important. This contrasts with your opinion in the introduction. Moreover, please do not restrict your answer to medical services.). It is observed that non-professional para-medics and illegal pharmacists, who offer cheap prescriptions against minor illnesses and have no idea about standard medicine and their doses, can sometimes make a person’s life at stake adversely affect a person’s health by prescribing wrong medicines. According to the Health Ministry of India, for example, about half a million healthy individuals developed acute kidney failure during the last decade because they took substandard medicines from local illegal medical practitioners. (The reader is confused. This example lays emphasis on quality. No mention of price. What is your opinion?)

In conclusion, there is no doubt about that domestic a tight budget restricts people, especially the middle class, from thinking to spend spending money generously but it is a rule of thumb that buying a less value low-quality product with unknown quality or by taking improper inexpensive medical care can cost an individual a lot and sometimes even with his life respectively. So one should always prefer quality over money.

The essay scores low on task response. Grammar and lexical resource are fine – need to work more on them. Bands = 6.0 to 6.5.

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