Chapter 8: Discussion Forum (Managing Interpersonal Conflict

What is the difference between “You-Messages” and “I-Messages”? Give an example of each.

Evaluation
When you evaluate or judge another person or what that person has done, that person is likely to become resentful and defensive and perhaps at the same time to become equally evaluative and judgmental. Tn contrast, when you describe what happened or what you want, it creates no such defensiveness and is generally seen as supportive. The distinction between evaluation and description can be seen in the differences between you-messages and I-messages.

Evaluative You-Messages
You never reveal your feelings.
You just don’t plan ahead.